Graphic project update: A Triple Tribute to Robert Johnson, Skip James and Pam

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This is from page 16 of the book project. This panel is a triple tribute, to Robert Johnson, Skip James, and my wife Pam. Pam and I used to drive to work together to our jobs at the Anchorage Daily News. I would customarily time my meds so that I would arrive as mobile as possible. This spared me the embarrassment of shuffling across the parking lot beneath the Newsroom window wall. Not to mention making me more stable on the icy incline of the sloped parking area.

Unfortunately there were certain obnoxious side effects. There gets to be a point Parkinson's medications make up for what they lack in subtlety with power. This often put me into a mildly manic state that meant my long-suffering bride was often subjected to lectures on topics she of course cared deeply about- for instance the relative merits of bluesmen of the 1930's.

Often these lectures would be repeated from ride to ride, sometimes in fragments on the same trip in. Other favorite topics were state, local, national and international news, movies, and naturally, traffic reports. We referred to it as "Radio Pete" No commercial interruptions no volume control, all the obscure references you can stand. And no, we're not taking your calls or requests. Fortunately it was a short commute.

Sign #237 That there is something amiss with health care as we know it:

Parkinson's, a disease that deprives us of dexterity is treated primarily with... teeny, tiny pills.

My Own Cato

Clouseau moves warily through his silent apartment. His sixth sense tells him danger is poised to explode, and it could come from anywhere. Every narrow hallway, every closet door, any hidden space large enough to conceal a crouching man may contain Cato.


Cato has been commissioned by Clouseau himself to stalk and attack the inspector without warning, and when he least expects it as a form of training. Just as addled as his adversary, Cato lies in wait. But where? Surely not the refrigera...

As the dooor cracks open Cato erupts from inside in a shower of frost and fury! He rains blows on the hapless detective with icy hands. Havoc, treachery and mayhem ensue, which both men seem, perversely, to enjoy.

CUT TO...

Pete wanders obliviously through his house. Every doorknob, every corner on a counter top holds the potential for sharp and unexpected pain as his body responds to signals from his brain that cause exaggerated dance-like movements in his limbs. The complex and unconscious calibrations that we all make in the banal act of passing through space are thrown off in the interplay between disease and medication.

But when the meds kick in, it's easy to forget that. Why? Because, darn it, it feels so great to move! Until an arm swings wide and slams into something hard or sharp. Then it feels great to spout profanity with your amplifier up to 11.

It's painful and exasperating to suffer one's own unintended violence. But let's face it, it's also funny. To have Parkinson's Disease is to live a life of improv slapstick. Congratulations, you've landed both leading roles, You're Cato and Clouseau.

Encounter with the supreme identity thief

Remember the "Me Decade"? That's what writer Tom Wolfe christened the 1970's . It was fashionable at that time to attempt to "find yourself". This was a common pursuit of the day, and a weird one. It conjures the idea of some tragic mix-up in the maternity ward in which your true self went home with the wrong family and then moved across the country without leaving a forwarding address.

Eventually it would fall to the strong and the brave to go out and track their fugitive self down, like an escaped con. As with any great quest, this one was fraught with difficulties. It's a given that your real self would be found somewhere more exciting and exotic than wherever you were at the time, but where? And how would you know when you found your true self? What if you found somebody else's true self and mistook it for your own? You might live the rest of your life as someone else, and never know. Which for some might not be a bad idea.

Most people gave up or got over it by the mid eighties. And it was never much of a problem for me. I always defined myself as an Alaskan, and a cartoonist, and later expanded into husband and father. For the most part, what I did was who I was.

Then came Parkinson's Disease, the identity thief supreme. I was a guitar player who didn't play the guitar, a cartoonist who was struggling to draw, a father who was too tired to cook or to even stay up and share a movie, a husband who was cranky and listless. (See my pal, the ogre here)

"Finding yourself" seems like a foolish game. Losing yourself is terrifying.

Eventually diagnosis and medication restored much of my original drive and personality. But Parkinson's is a moving target, and medication only approximates what my friend Dr. David Heydrick calls "The exquisite precision" of the dopamine controls of the human brain. And as we know too well, the medication eventually becomes as problematic as the disease.

But, for now, the person I think of as the real me, does glint out occasionally and briefly, from between the manic, nattering chatterbox I am at the crest of my dose and the semi-paralyzed zombie I become at the ebb. Like a canny performer, he always disappears before wearing out his welcome, leaving Chatterbox and Zombie Man in a state of anticipation about the next appearance .

The question isn't "Who am I?" or "Where am I?" It's "When am I?"

Upcoming meeting, Aprl 19

Hang on to your hats, folks , We've got a speaker coming in that will leave you spellbound! If you take as many pills as I do, you'll want to be there when John McGilvray, BS, PharmD, CGP, FASCP, BCPS comes to share his knowledge of PD medications. Here is a taste of his background.

CURRENT POSITIONS

• Senior Clinical Pharmacist; Primary Care Clinic Pharmacy, Alaska Native Medical Center (ANMC), Anchorage, AK
• Preceptor for Pharmacy Residents, Drug Information
• Preceptor for PharmD Students, Ambulatory Care

EDUCATION

2007 (Oct.) American Society of Consultant Pharmacists Foundation Parkinson’s Disease Pharmacotherapy Traineeship, Movement Disorder Clinic, Feinberg School of Medicine, Northwestern University, Chicago, IL.
2006-present Board of Pharmaceutical Specialties; Board Certified Pharmacotherapy Specialist
2004-present Commissioned Corps Readiness Force modules complete
2002-present Fellow of the American Society of Consultant Pharmacists
2001-present Certified Geriatric Pharmacist; Commission for Certification in Geriatric Pharmacy
1997-2001 University of Illinois at Chicago, Doctor of Pharmacy Degree with High Honors
1974-1977 Northeastern University, Boston, Massachusetts, Bachelor of Science Degree in Pharmacy and Allied Health
1972-1974 Massachusetts College of Pharmacy, Boston, Massachusetts, undergraduate study

In addition, the fabulous Betty Berry will lead a separate session for caregivers. It's all happening at the Anchorage the Senior Center, 1300 E. 19th Ave. The time: 1:00 in the afternoon on Feb. 19.

See you then!

Pete